Blessed...

Where to begin, where to begin...

Yesterday made it three months since our precious boys joined us!!  It's so hard to believe it's already been that much time, and yet so hard to believe there was a time when they weren't a part of our hearts already.

Hailey Bug is doing marvelously with her anxiety and OCD!  She's had great success with low doses of medication and breathing/relaxation techniques.  We've seen tons of improvement in her behaviour and demeanor at home and at school.  She's amazing!!  She recently even sang in her school talent show, which is not something I think she would have had the confidence to do months ago.  She was incredibly brave! 

Zach is getting ready to graduate kindergarten on Tuesday (sniff sniff).  It's hard to believe my guy is getting so big.  He seems like such a giant compared to the twins!!  He'll always be my lil' man though.  <3  He's doing awesome in school has been enjoying reading a lot more lately.  He read his first chapter book a few months ago, Frecklejuice, and he loved it! :) 

Eli had an evaluation with a speech therapist last month, and while he was behind, he wasn't behind enough to qualify for services.  We were a little bummed, but not for long!  Suddenly, in the last few weeks, his vocabulary has exploded!!  Just last week he learned to say:  jump, Hailey, Zach, Zaya (Isaiah), please, thank you and down.  Yay Eli!!!  This has made him much less frustrated, as he can get what he wants so much easier, and he's so very proud of himself. :)

Isaiah has been doing just awesome!!  He is tearing it up in his walker, cruising forward and backward all around the house!  He follows me everywhere!!  He started physical, occupational and DSI therapies in the past week.  It's very exciting to see him trying new things and pushing himself.  We have lots to work on with him at home now too.  I can't wait to see all he can do...he will amaze us all, more so than he already does!  He also saw his GI doctor a few weeks ago, and though he hasn't gained any weigh, he is doing very well.  The amount and concentration of his formula have been increased to hopefully pack on a few more pounds, and a barium swallow test has been scheduled to see where we're at with being able to spoon feed.  All in all, he's fabulous and OH so happy!

Foster mom and I have kept in touch with weekly emails and texts, sharing pictures, stories and advice.  We had a lovely playdate with her before Easter to exchange little gifts and visit.  I was scared about how it would go, but it couldn't have been smoother!  All the kids played so well together, and seemed to remember each other.  When it was time to go, the grown ups shed a few happy tears, but the babies didn't seem to understand the significance of the occasion.  We're working on planning another date soon. 

In some very exciting news.... we got a court date!!!!  Yahoo!!!  On Thursday, July 21st, at 9:30am, we will go before a judge and make our family official!!  Our baby boys will become Isaiah Andres Nichols and Elijah Mateo Nichols, just in time for their 2nd birthday only 4 days later.  It will be a rebirth in a way, to shed the old life and move forward with the new one.  They are such a blessing to us all.  Hailey and Zach take such pride in their little brothers and as parents, Josh and I could not be more proud to call all four of these little ones ours.  I don't know how we got so lucky, I really don't.  But God was faithful, and did what He said He'd do, and all I had to do was have faith and learn patience.  Both of these qualities are even more important now that my babies are here. 

I don't know what the future holds for Isaiah, as far as his mobility or his Independence or his cognitive development, but I do know that he is strong willed and eager to please.  He is highly determined to do everything that his twin brother does, and so I believe he will.  He is well loved by all that meet him.  His smile could penetrate even the darkest day.  He will do so much, and already has, to inspire people and bring joy to their lives.  I'm eager to see how it all plays out.

Josh and I are great, just trying to adjust to the chaos still.  We try to be creative and have "dates" here in our living room with popcorn, movies and snuggles.  We try to talk as much as possible and lean on each other for support and validation.  He is my best friend, I don't know who I would be without him.  He brings out all the good in me, and encourages it and nurtures it and believes in me.  Who could ask for more in a partner? 

Again I say, I don't know how I got so lucky...

Enough sentimental, time for some funny :)

At my grandma's funeral, during Communion:
Hailey:  Hey, why do they get a snack?
Me: SHH!!  It's not a snack, we'll talk about it in the car.
Hailey:  I totally just saw that guy chewing!  They are giving out snacks. *pouts*
Me:  *shrinks down in pew and heavily sighs*

Zach, on the way to my grandma's funeral:
Zach: I'm going to miss the gifts Grammy Boo used to send at Christmas and my birthday...
Me: ..um..you realize she's not the one that passed away, right?
Zach:  she's not??  well then who died??

Elijah, to every single person who accepted their diploma at my sister, Tara's, graduation and to me after speaking at my grandma's funeral:
Eli:  HIII!!!!!!!!!!  Yay!!!!!!! *ferociously applauds*

I love you!  Have a great week!

Love,
Trina

My Family, Easter weekend <3









  









Friendship, Funerals and Fires...

I can't wait for May to be over...heat and all, I welcome you, June!!

My Grandma passed away on April 29th, and even though she was 90, and we saw it coming, it was a sucker punch to the gut.  I was in the drive thru line at McDonald's getting my little man a happy meal when I got a text message from my dad, letting me know.  As I unloaded the babies into the house, hands full of lunch, it hit me.  My Grandma was gone.  My dad didn't have a mom anymore.  I woke my sleepy husband (who'd worked the night before) up and told him.  He held me, I cried.  We ate.  The next few days, I checked in on my dad often.  Even through his texts, I could hear pain.  He was feeling a void, and I was feeling so sad for him, imagining myself in his place some day.  Days passed, things started to get back to normal.  Funeral arrangements were made.

Mother's Day...  I woke up to peanut butter & chocolate chip pancakes, the sweetest cards and homemade gifts and goodies from Ulta.  What a morning!!  I slept in until 9am, didn't have to do morning rounds and felt incredibly special.  I decided to start getting ready for the day.  I was just hopping in the shower when my phone rang.  It said "Dad's Cell."  How sweet, I thought, he's calling to wish me a happy mother's day.  As I brushed my teeth, I listened to his message on speaker phone.  It was not him, but his girlfriend instead, asking me to call right away and telling me that dad had an accident.  I remember I started shaking right away, my mind racing with the "what could be's."  I filled Josh in and asked him to call her back so I could have a quiet moment to just cry/pray/freak out in private. 

Dad had been at a BBQ the night before, and due to a freak accident with a tabletop lantern, his shirt caught on fire.  He had 2nd and 3rd degree burns covering 18% of his body and he was in the burn center at the county hospital.  My husband and hero began texting/calling to find us a sitter so he could get me to my dad's side as soon as possible.  I'm so very grateful for my friend, Robin, who stepped up on Mother's Day to come watch my 4 kiddos on short notice!!  (Still don't know how I'll repay you girl!)  Not only that, she brought me a gift!  We'd been gone about ten minutes when I got a call from home.  Apparently, you can't just use liquid dish soap in the dishwasher when you run out of dish washing liquid and you're rushing out the door.  My entire kitchen was flooded with bubbles!!  The kids were absolutely delighted!! Lol...  Thank you again Robin for cleaning my floor...and doing the dishes...and sweeping. :)

I tried to throw up in the parking lot so I wouldn't do it in his room.  I had no idea what to expect.  We walked the maze of the building, being guided by kind strangers until we found the, now ever too familiar, 7th floor.  I walked in and saw him...all mummified in bandages, and I lost it.  I wanted to hug him but couldn't.  I wanted to squeeze his hand, but couldn't.  I wanted to tell him everything would be okay, but I couldn't.  Instead I listened as he told me what had happened, and I tried to be brave, like him.  I'd rarely seen him without his glasses on, and even more rarely had I seen him cry.  Dad fell asleep at least four times during his story, but I got the gist.  We stayed for what felt like minutes but was really hours, and just watched him sleep. 

Finally home, we thanked our dear friends, had a laugh about the bubbles and said goodnight.  We snuggled our babies and soaked up all of their innocence and sweetness, before tucking them in for bed.  My first mother's day with the twins was also my first day away from them.  They were no worse for wear and neither were we. 

In the weeks that have passed since the accident, my dad has had good days and bad, but he's so brave and determined to get better.  He is following doctor's orders, resting a lot and doing his physical therapy.  I've gotten to spend a lot more time with him than usual, but not as much as I'd like to.  So far, he has had 3 skin grafts, the most recent one was this morning.  More than anything, right now, I'd like to be by his side, annoying him by trying to do everything for him.  Hard to be there though with four kiddos, none of which are allowed in the burn center.  Luckily, my hubby has 4 days off coming up very soon and I'll get some time in. 

In the time my dad has been in the hospital, he has missed a family birthday party for my cousin, his mom's funeral and his own birthday.  (He did relent however and allow the nurses to hang a birthday banner in his room...lol).  He is also likely to miss Zach's kindergarten graduation next week, going back east for my cousin's wedding next month and a trip with his girlfriend he was to take at the end of May.  I know he;s disappointed, who wouldn't be?  I'm having a hard time not feeling very sad for him and overwhelmed by his situation.  I feel guilt for not being at the hospital more often.  I feel sadness at not being able to make any of this better for him.  I feel obligated to try. 

A few good things have come of all of this though...  I have gotten to spend a lot more time with my dad than I would have if May had been a normal month.  I got to spend 2 whole days with my little sister, Jen, which were so very needed.  I got to see my little brother, Matt, who I hadn't seen in a year.  He gives the best hugs.  I got to really and truly appreciate my health, which I so often take for granted.  I also have gotten to get to know my dad's girlfriend, Greta, so much better.  Watching the way she cares for him and the way they interact with each other, lean on each other, make each other crack up laughing, has given me the chance to really see their love firsthand.  It's quite lovely to see something so beautiful in the midst of such a negative time. 

I have been very out of touch with most everyone the last few weeks and I'm sorry.  I hope no one has taken it personally, I've just been too spent to want to talk.  Worrying is a such a draining waste of life.  I have decided to give it up.  I can't control or change the outcome of anything going on with my dad, all I can do is enjoy getting to dote on him (when he lets me..lol), love him, trust in his doctors to make good choices for him, and know that God will heal him.

In other totally different news...tons going on with the kids!  I'll have to write a separate post about that...  Tomorrow is 3 months since the twins moved in already! Wow!!  Time is flying by... 

Thank you for your love and please, if you're the praying type, say a little prayer for my dad.  I love him so much. 

Love,
Trina